I have been on and off, a member of Deviantart for a long time now. Probably I am at the point where I shouldn't be here at all, being supposedly very busy and uncreative.

I have left my account alone for the past few months, partly because of some bile fueled comments directed my way (at least partially the result of my own sniping I admit) that upset me and caused me to question why I let myself perpetuate a cycle that sees me degenerate into hate filled gorgon to the extent where I start to believe what people say to me in response.

Needless to say, this has recently happened again, something has come up on here that has caused me to really question whether I really am a worthy human being, as it has done for countless times in the last 5 years. Essentially, the cycle is thus. I cheer up, get productive, leave Deviantart to itself for a while and believe in myself.

Then I start to get a little down, the first sign of which is a loss of productivity and boredom that results in me coming back on here. For a while it is all fine but forums being what they are, they rapidly escalate in nastyness and before you know it, comments that you are ill equipped to deal with in you present state of loathsomeness, have you reaching for the logout button once more.

Will I be back? Of course I will, I cannot help myself!

Oh and as a final note, much of this nastyness appears to come from those who cannot accept that I write in the manner I do. To these people, despite my current state of depression, I say deal with it. I have had a good education and have always had an excellent vocabulary and I will make no apologies. When I am not down, I recognise that this ability has taken me far in life and given me a forum with which to discuss ideas far better than that which you enjoy yourself.